It’s been such a long time since I’ve last posted and I apologize. Life during COVID has been absolutely insane. Here are a few updates. I am still working and I am grateful. I have also begun my student teaching hours so that takes up a great deal of my time. In addition to work and hours, I have a pup to care for at home who keeps me on my toes all the time. When I’m not busy running around, I try to find ways to relax which are either going to the gym or sleeping. Sleep is rare these days and before I run myself ragged, I want to ensure I am taking care of myself. Remember-self care should be a priority, especially now.
Inspiration to write has been scarce. I am either too busy to sit and write when I do have an idea, or it’s just the opposite. I make time to write and just end up staring at my laptop screen. I have not worked on any new stories as of late. But, I will say this. I have been watching lots of Netflix which means I do have potential story lines brewing. Also, for all of my Schitt’s Creek fans out there, did anyone else cry hysterically when they watched the last season? I wish they would replace a show which is still on air after like 50 seasons such as General Hospital and replace it with Schitt’s Creek. The show is just too good to end. I have become too emotionally invested in the show for it to end now. Also, for those who have not seen the documentary about how the show began, how the ideas for the story-line flourished, I highly recommend watching it on Netflix.
This post will be a bit random, but life has been all over the place as of late, therefore, I will do my best to make sense of everything going on.
In other news, I have tried getting back into the swing of reading consistently. I have a book, All The Bright Places, which I started a while ago, but have yet to finish. I highly recommend you guys watch the movie on Netflix. It focuses on mental-health and the importance of being kind, for we do not know what someone deals with behind closed doors. The movie and book have a significant message for young adults.
The holidays are rounding the corner and I find myself to be a ball of sadness and happiness at the same time. As a child, I always looked forward to the holidays, but I always felt significantly let down. By that I mean, I always wanted that sense of belonging, community, and for my family to come together. But, as people began to move away and lose contact, it was difficult to get everyone together. All families have drama, but it seems as though mine holds grudges for years which is extremely unhealthy. I will admit that I have done my fair share of holding grudges. But, as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that life is too short and too precious to be carrying hate around in my heart. The world has enough hate already as it is and I certainly do not want to spread anymore. Especially during COVID, now is the time to be checking in on your loved ones.
My birthday is also a few weeks away and I find myself feeling calm more than anything else. Everyone keeps asking if I am excited for it, and my response is the same: I am getting older and as the years pass you just do not feel like celebrating anymore. I will be 25, holy crap. I thought my life would have taken a completely different route than it has.
I always had my life planned out for my 20’s and it’s crazy to see how everything I had planned did not happen when I wanted it to. But, that’s the thing about life. It never happens the way you want it to. I thought by the age of 22 I would be in a committed relationship, working towards an engagement, and starting a family. Now that I’m almost 25 and I look at what I thought my life would be, I laugh. I have started to focus a lot more on myself as of late, my health & wellbeing, my happiness, my career, and my life choices. I have refused to allow my life to be centered around another individual. They say when you find the right one, you know when you know. And when you become a mother, you will never know a love so vast until you hold your child for the very first time. This is all great. But, does it make me a bad person to say that a woman’s greatest accomplishment in life should not be to find a significant other and have children?
I used to find it strange when I heard women say they did not want to get married of have kids. They preferred to casually date and then cut the apron string when the guy wanted a more serious commitment such as marriage. I know PLENTY of these females. It’s crazy how life has come full-circle and now I have become one of these women. I can’t say I truly see myself making these major life adjustments until I am ready. I do not believe in pressuring a woman to have children or judging her when she says she does not want to. A woman should not have to feel guilty for her life choices or being in charge of HER OWN BODY. Times have changed. Back in the day, women were expected to produce several children and be the caretakers of the household. I cannot stand when I hear someone say, “Oh honey, you will change your mind. Children are the greatest gift.” That can be true, but just think about the impact your words can have on that female who either a) has reproductive issues and has tried for years, b) is infertile and cannot have children, c) may feel strongly about their mental and physical health and want to maintain that, or d) other reasons they do not need to explain to another. People have no right to put their noses in someone else’s business.
Rather than focusing on having my life completely figured out in my early 20s, I have found solace in the little things like a fresh cup of coffee, reading a good book, taking a trip to Barnes & Noble to get lost in the isles seeking my next read, spending time with my pup on the patio, enjoying nature, calling my parents everyday, and the list goes on. There are just so many things to be grateful for at the moment. At the end of it all, this is what matters most. The materialistic items will not bring you happiness.
This pretty much covers everything I wanted to write about. I am running out of updates. Overall, I am putting my focus and energy into myself, making myself truly happy. I am going to take life one day at a time and try to maintain a positive mindset.
I hope everyone reading this is well and staying afloat during these unprecedented times. Wish you all health & happiness!:)
Until next time friends,