For the longest time, I have allowed other’s opinions of me sway my decision making. I have allowed them to dictate to me how I should live my life. Well, I say no more. I have let my wants and needs be pushed to the side because I was listening to everything other people had to say. Self-care has become so important to me over these last 2-3 years. If I’m being completely honest, I still care too much about what others think and I wish I didn’t. I wish I was one of those types of people who did not worry about everyone else. I should be concerned about Dakota. I will be 25 this year. That’s crazy to say, but life is flying by. As I grow older, I have become more in tune with what truly makes my heart happy.
I have let my health go down hill. I have not been listening to my physical, mental, or emotional health. I have felt like I have been making myself sick trying to take everything on at once.
As depressing as this may sound, at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself. It’s like the saying goes, “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” You cannot help others unless you are taking care of yourself first. Most of the time I want to throw my phone away and let go of all the baggage. Let go of the one thing keeping me connected to those people who make me feel less than. Who is going to take care of me god forbid I burn myself out?
I have decided to listen to my body, my heart, my mind, and soul. I want to do what makes me happy. I decide to put myself first. I have worn myself out trying to help others. My 20s should be about enjoying life before the responsibilities really slap me in my face. And I feel like I am not enjoying my 20s. I am always stressed, always overwhelmed, always feel like I’m somehow failing at something no matter how hard I try, or I’m always worried about something.
Who is going to take care of me? I’ve been doing lots of thinking about helping others. You should still maintain kindness and compassion for those around you. But there comes a time where you have to draw a line. Many people confuse kindness for weakness and this is not the case. I have tried helping others to the best of my ability. But, I’ve been taken advantage of to a certain extent and so I say, NO MORE. I am finally putting myself first and it feels pretty good to say.
I’ve been at war-with my former self and the person I still wish to be. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. I have fought silent battles, big ones others had no idea about. I’ve cried silently to sleep and have felt like a failure with so many things.
But now, I take back control of my life. I’m tired of worrying more about others feelings and opinions instead of my own. I should listen to my instincts and mine only. I have come this far. I am sick of allowing others to have so much power over me because it does not matter what you do in this life, someone will always have something to say. What truly matters is how you view yourself.
I guess in simpler terms what I’m trying to say is take care of yourself. Follow your heart and believe in your abilities. Do not be so hard on yourself. You have come this far and you have only scratched the surface. Be proud of how far you have come. Your body has carried you through far worse. So whatever you are dealing with now, you can certainly get through it. Do not feel guilty of taking breaks when you so desperately need it. Burning yourself out trying to please everyone else will get you nowhere.
Live YOUR life because before you know it, 10 years will have passed you by and you realize you are bitter because you did not do what you wanted when you were younger. It is easy to put things off until tomorrow because we think we will have more time. But the truth is, life is too short and time can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye.
I want to live a full and happy life. So yes, I take my life back. I am doing what makes me happy. Others will still have opinions of me and judge who I’ve been or what I choose to do in this life, but I am strong. I will make it through. And if I fail at least I know I tried my very best. That’s what truly matters.
Until next time friends,