The sun is out. Everyone in the house is asleep and the silence is peaceful. I made myself a fresh cup of coffee and sat down to write. I stared at my blank screen for a while trying to decide what to post until the idea hit me. I remembered something my dad said to me once. He said, “If you had it all, the money and success, but no family, would the success really matter?” It got me thinking.

My dad read an article and shared his findings with my mom and me. He read about how a well-known actress, name not remembered at this time, who made it to the big-time. She had loads of money, houses, cars, people working for her, etc. I mean that’s what we all want right? To be successful and make it to the top? She had all the money she could ever want. But what she did not have was a family, a loved one to hold in her arms, or children to call her mom. She felt successful in her career, but empty in her personal life. It makes you think doesn’t it? I am in my 20’s right now and I like to think I am selfish with my time. This is the age where I go after my goals before life and responsibilities get in the way. That has always been a fear of mine. That I would grow older and not have chased my dreams and be bitter about it all. But that is not the point of this post. It’s a tough situation. Should we chase our dreams and put relationships on the back-burner, or follow a loved one, but sacrifice our dreams in the making? Is it simple to have both? Maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of One Tree Hill, but for all my fellow fans out there, let’s evaluate the relationship of Nathan & Haley Scott. Nathan wanted to pursue a professional career in basketball and Haley wanted to make it as a singer. They got married in high school and soon realized making the relationship work while chasing their dreams was not what they had originally planned. Now I’m not saying love is like a CW TV series, but isn’t there some truth in that?

Here’s another thought. Does it make one selfish if they still want to chase their dreams even with a family? Life flashes by in the blink of an eye. Before you know it “later” is here, you are older, and time is running out. It sounds depressing, but it is true. Should you seek a career first, not making love a priority, and end up like the actress I mentioned in the beginning of the post?

When you find love, no matter when it enters your life, you should cherish it if it’s worth fighting for. And the right person will help you chase your dreams. Marriage and kids is a beautiful thing. Does it make me a bad person to say that I want to tackle my goals before I settle down? I feel like when you start a life it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your responsibilities. But doesn’t this lead to resentment? You grow bitter and cold towards the ones you love because you did not accomplish what you wanted. My apologies for this post being all over the place without a clear topic, I am just writing as the thoughts roam around my mind. Relating it back to One Tree Hill, let’s evaluate Dan Scott, father of Nathan, who ruined his family for the sole purpose of him not making it as a pro basketball player. His own hatred of himself flooded into his marriage and his relationship with his son.

I guess my main concern for this post is this: how can one do it, manage a career, chasing one’s dream(s), and being able to start a family? Now I know this post probably sounds irrelevant because lots of people have done this. Here’s an example from my own experience. It took my mom 6 years to finish a 2 year degree because she had to work 3 jobs to raise my brother. My mom left his dad and met mine. At the time, she hoped to pursue nursing or join the NAVY. But then she had me and all her hopes had gotten flushed down the drain. She never went back to school because she now had 2 kids at home. She has mentioned to me several times before that she does not regret having children. She is a strong believer that her life panned out the way it was supposed to. We may plan for certain things to happen, but life is in control.

What is more important? Career or family? Now I know this seems like an easy question to answer. You can chase your dreams until you accomplish every single one. And you feel successful for a moment. But moments are fleeting. How long will that moment of accomplishment last? We chase our dreams for years, sometimes we make it, and other times we do not. But when we do, we realize in the mean-time, we sacrificed having a relationship and starting a life.

It’s a tricky situation. Some people find solace in their work. Others find it in their families.

I hope I am able to find the balance between both.

Until next time friends,

Ms. Dakota

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Ms. Dakota, is a current graduate student and soon to be elementary education teacher. She is a multi-genre writer who explores the world of creative non-fiction, poetry, and fiction. You can find her on twitter: @msdakotawrites.


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